Hotel in Tokyo

So it's been a long time since I blogged. Quick update on the team. We are currently 18-18 and 4th in our conference but it is getting to be a tight playoff race here for the last two months of our season.

We just got to Tokyo to the hotel here before shootaround. I can't help but read the notes on different hotels each time. I started to read this one and it's the standard what to do in case of emergency and restaurant options. Then there is a couple of pages of what to do in case of a disaster. I wish I could show you the pictures because they are hilarious, but I will give you some highlights of the tips.

Word for word on each example - the parentheses are my comments. At the very top:

This HOTEL buildings is structured into blocks and completely structures to prevent the spread of fire. (didn't they try that with a ship and water…I'm a little fuzzy but wasn't it called the Titanic. O yeah that worked out really well.) They are also earthquake-proof and capable of sustaining the shock of a very major earthquake. (so I am in the indestructible, unburnable hotel, yet my room reeks of smoke.)

In any emergency, we would first like to request all our guests to remain calm. For example (O joy! an example on how to remain calm - stop drop and roll maybe?), our Disaster prevention station is on duty 24 hours a day, staffed by professional guards and our own fire fighting personnel. In case of a fire, all information will be channeled to the station immediately and the staff will begin extinguishing the fire and guiding our guests to safety(at the same time? that must be why they are professional)

Upon your arrival at your room:

-confirm the location of the flashlight in your room

-let the front desk know if you are physically handicapped

-take a look at the chart on the inner side of the door showing the emergency routes from your room. Make sure you know these routes and locations of the least two emergency exits.(honestly I think reading Peyton Manning's chart on his forearm would be easier than trying to decipher this chart)

-In particular, please refrain from smoking in bed. As this is one of the main causes of fire (as if the giant No Smoking sign on my bed when I walk in isn't enough)

If you should notice a fire breaking out (or are the cause of it):

- call the front desk (dial 7)

-alert the occupants of other rooms nearby (try to blame one of them for you starting the fire)

- Don't forget to close the door when you leave the room to prevent the fire from spreading. (or else they will close it and lock it for you like on the Titanic of course)

- Inform us if you note other guests in their rooms (because every fire is a raging like a forest fire and there is no chance of anyone being safe in their rooms)

If you are trapped by the fire or smoke:

- do not use the elevators

- cover your mouth and nose with a wet towel so as not to inhale smoke and flame (I am currently doing this as there is that much smoke in the room already)

- Walk in a crouch or crawl along the wall and proceed towards an emergency staircase free of flames (they should also note that doing this when there is not a fire will draw a lot of awkward stares from other people)

If you cannot get out of your room:

- Stuff spaces around the door with wet towels and patiently wait for the rescuer party

- There are emergency stair case in the balcony, outside the window, which you may step down for escape. BUT THIS WAY SHOULD BE SOUGHT AT THE LAST MEASURE BECAUSE YOU WILL BE EXPOSED TO THE DANGER OF STEPPING OFF (stepping off!!! off the side of the building to your death is what this should say and if Ed Norton from Fight Club had anything to do with it he would have drawn the picture like that.)

If an earthquake occurs:

-Keep away from the windows

-Pull out all electric plugs

-protect your head (evidently the electric plugs are more important than protecting your head)

-put out cigarettes (because they can't handle an earthquake and a fire at the same time)

If prior warning of an earthquake is received, our internal broadcasting system will make an announcement. Also pay attention to regular TV or radio news broadcasts. Our guests are requested to remain calm and use their own judgment as to what precautions to take. We assure you that our hotel staff will be on duty as usual even during a disaster. (That's good because there's nothing that has me crave steak and sushi than an earthquake. If you could have that up here in the next 5 minutes I will give you another 500 yen.)

Well atleast you all know I am safe and informed here at the Camelot Hotel in Tokyo, Japan. I hope all of you are doing well and I will try and write again soon.